Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize