My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
babies were throwing up all over the place
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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