She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
