Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
