So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize