yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
