Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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