Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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