your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
