you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
