Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
