Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
