Don't you send me to vm
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
