Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
