I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I just found puke in my bra..
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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