Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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