Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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