drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
