Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
