This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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