so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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