he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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