I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
