I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
