I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
