I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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