So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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