These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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