The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
