i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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