season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
