he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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