So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
