Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
