The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
