he looks like a really good dad on facebook
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
