marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
