she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
