I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
