Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
