last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Actions speak louder than pants.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
