Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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