oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
