thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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