I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
