Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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