I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
