I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
