Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize