lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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