Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
