A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
