The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
