Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
