I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
3 2 1 whiskey
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
