Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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