In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
