So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize