Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
