I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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