oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
