so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
