i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
