You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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